20 Jan Mumlife – 4 tips for self-care in 2019
So I went back to work this week!
Some of you may still be on hols with the kids and some of you probably only had the public holidays off, working through the summer so you can take your leave later! I’m a bit in the middle, I took almost a month off but saved some leave for later. I also wanted to run kids coaching programs in the holidays which meant working in the holidays.
Going back to work and starting a new year has had me thinking about how I want things to be different this year. My ‘Mumlife’ consists of working part time in my policy job and working part time in my coaching business, plus finding time to write and publish my book – and to be perfectly honest, finding the right balance is ridiculously hard.
The Mumlife is busy, am I right? With kids sports, my coaching, building a business, trying to manage a household with my partner, child care, play dates, school, family, study and a social life. Life seems to be going in so many directions I often wonder how I manage to function most days. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
However, 2019 is going to be different for me – I have promised myself!
On February 2 2019 I will be running a one day #WarriorWomen retreat with my beautiful and talented friend Amy Little (Absolute Healing Yoga and Massage). I’ll be spending a good couple of hours with other women like me, working through our intentions for 2019. Talking about what we want to bring into our lives, what we want more of and how we will achieve these goals.
I’m so excited to help other women and provide space to allow themselves the time to think about their needs – because we women are just not great at doing that.
I’m excited for myself to be in a space with women that will be all about self-care and nurturing ourselves and responding to our deepest desires and ambitions for ourselves – because again, we just don’t do this stuff enough!
So in thinking about my preparations for this beautiful day, I realised I need to make this part of my regular personal self-care this year and here is how I’m going to do it, you might want to join me…………….
- Stop scrolling and start reading
Even though scrolling on our phones can lead to reading relevant articles or stories, most of the time we are just scrolling mindlessly out of habit and boredom, or even addiction (my husband would say I’m addicted – I say I’m doing research for my business J).
Either way, I feel like we could use those hours after kids go to bed more usefully. So I am pledging to myself to only have mindless scrolling in front of the TV on the weekends.
The rest of the time I will read a book, do some exercise or write stuff.
You might want to listen to music, do yoga, go for a swim, whatever helps to feed your soul with things you love.
- Take time out to be alone
Now as a mum I know how hard this one is, but I also know how valuable and necessary it is to maintain good mental health. The key, I think, is in the negotiations with our partners/family.
So even though it’s tough, we need to ask for time alone to just be with ourselves.
I’m pledging to take one to two hours on the weekend every week and either go for a walk, listen to podcasts, go to the beach or river and have a chai (yes I’m one of those weird humans who doesn’t drink coffee!). On those weekends when it’s hectic I’ll go for half an hour, or a walk around the block as a minimum.
This will be negotiated with my husband and he will get his time also to go water skiing or to the gym or whatever he needs, to have his space.
It’s really not as hard as it seems to block out time each week for yourself, so I’m going to practice what I preach and make time alone a priority for me. I think if we do look after ourselves, we are way more effective at parenting and partnering because our personal needs are being met. Who’s with me?
(For single parents this might be a bit harder, but not impossible if you can build up a network of support with family and friends and neighbours – you need to read my book to get some tips on how to build your networks).
- Keep going back to my goals
One thing I am very good at, is getting distracted and going way off course from my goals. I find new things to focus on, be it organizing social events (I love to plan a party), reading trashy news articles when I’m supposed to be writing, finding another course to study – it’s partly procrastination and partly failing to focus on my goals, one at a time.
So to sort this out I’m going to be more focused on my goals more regularly.
Each week I will write my daily and weekly goals. At the end of the week, I will use maybe my alone time to review my goals and tweak where tweaking is needed.
This is the best way for me and anyone, to stay focused on the bigger picture and stay on track.
For me to get my book launched and my business booming this year I have to be more focused on how I will get $hit done!
- Face my fears
This one is B.I.G for all of us, especially us mums. A lot of the time in our lives we don’t get stuff done because we are blocked or even paralysed by our fears and I have to admit I know when I don’t do the things I say I will do or want to do, it’s because of fear!
So this year, I’m going to follow through. I’m going to take each project or goal, one step at a time until it’s finished and I WILL face my fears along the way. For me I want to do live videos for my business, I want to put myself out there and show the world what I have to offer instead of hiding behind study and doing ‘other things’, I want to show up in the world as my true authentic self and start helping people really change their lives while I’m changing mine at the same time.
I’m going to make myself vulnerable, to change, to other people’s judgement, to opinions and criticism and ideas. I’m going to be open to all these things and see how they can help me grow, personally and professionally, leaving my ego behind.
This my friends is something so important to us all, as mums and as humans – we are not perfect, there is no perfect, but there are always opportunities to grow, change, be better and facing our fears, being vulnerable is one way we can bring that growth into our lives.
So there it is – 4 ways I’m going to care for myself in 2019.
I hope there is something here that can help you too!
With love and light and loads of hugs